30 Minute A Day Writing Challenge for the American Cancer Society (1)

Day 1

May 1, 2023

Once again, this is my pledge to write for at least a half hour every day:

I am participating in the American Cancer Society’s challenge to write for thirty minutes each day in May. I do a lot of writing and I can meet this challenge. What I plan to do is make a blog entry each day with what I’ve written.

I wanted to participate in memory of loved ones who fought cancer bravely but succumbed:

My brother-in-law Jeff

My sister-in-law Ann

My dear friend Kay

I also wanted to help raise money to support research and a cure for all those who are currently fighting this vicious disease.

My Facebook to the fundraiser is here.

Thank you to all who wish to support the American Cancer Society this month.

I wanted to write a little about the three people who made such a positive impact on my life before cancer claimed them.

Jeff was my husband Ted’s youngest brother. He was a loving, devoted husband and father to Kim, his wife, and his daughters. His love and kindness extended to the rest of us as well.

Some of my favorite memories of Jeff: he and Kim would host wonderful family gatherings. Ted and I would bring along our young grandson, Tomas, who was on the spectrum. When we would go places with Tomas, I would keep a watchful eye on him. Jeff took right to Tomas and would tell me to go and relax; he would watch over Tomas. Then he and the little boy would go exploring or jump into the pool and have fun together. It’s clear he loved kids.

Another fond memory is of our Christmas family get togethers. Part of our celebrations was always the white elephant. One time Jeff brought a Viking style helmet complete with horns. It became the most popular item to pass around, and as the helmet traveled from person to person, Jeff would lead the cheer to encourage the recipient to try it on: “Helmet head, helmet head!” Soon the entire party would call it out. Jeff brought so much fun and joy to gatherings.

He was always attentive and loving toward his mother, my MIL Lucille. When she was ready to leave a gathering, he was always the one to walk her to her car. He’d make sure she was comfortably settled, chatting with her for several minutes.

The last time I saw him, he’d lost so much weight fighting pancreatic cancer that he constantly had to hitch up his pants. He looked exhausted but despite whatever pain or discomfort he was feeling, he was still cheerful. He spent much of the time sitting down in a comfortable chair. Still, when Lucille was ready to leave, he got up and escorted her out to the car.

We miss Jeff so dearly. Family gatherings aren’t the same without him.

Ann was my sister-in-law from my first marriage to Rich. She was married to Rich’s younger brother, Steven. Even after Rich passed, I still felt that his family was still a part of mine.  I didn’t get to know Ann as well as I liked because Rich and I moved from Long Island to Maryland, away from our families.

Ann seemed shy and quiet. She was soft-spoken but had a lovely smile. I could see how much she loved Steve and her children, young Steven, and Nicole. When Nicole gave birth to Gisele, Ann became a loving, proud grandmother.

I didn’t know she was sick. I didn’t know about her struggle with cancer until after she passed. She fought her battle quietly and with a great deal of courage. Steve, her children, and her grandchild miss her terribly. Steve is especially affected, and I remember how it feels to lose your beloved.

I met Kay through a dear friend of mine, Nancy. I met Nancy through our love of the gothic soap opera series, Dark Shadows.  Nancy and Kay were always roommates and friends. I became friends with them in the late 1990s.

Kay was quiet but she was also wise, and she’d sometimes come out with the funniest things. She was one of the kindest and most considerate people I’ve had the pleasure to call a friend.  She and Nancy fostered kitty cats and had quite a few of their own.

Just before the pandemic and quarantine, Nancy asked if I would like to adopt a kitten they’d been caring for. Ted and I were delighted to add this baby to our gang.

Kay and I would stay in touch about the progress of our kitten, Nugget. I would send her pictures and little tales of how Nugget was doing.

I was so sad to hear she was stricken with ovarian cancer. Like pancreatic cancer, it’s a sneaky, stealthy form that is hard to detect in its early stages. Kay fought it bravely for several years, enduring rounds of chemo and medications. I remember that after one round, there was no cancer for a period…but it came back. It spread and Kay fought valiantly to the end.

Cancer takes a vicious toll not only on the sufferer’s body but also financially because of medical costs. It takes a toll on loving family members like Kim, Ann, Nancy, the children, and grandchildren. So, it’s not just for the loved ones who’ve passed that I am taking this challenge, it’s also for those family members. It’s also for those who are currently fighting this horrible disease. It's so that there is funding for research to eradicate cancer.