"There Is Love"

Yesterday, we witnessed and celebrated the marriage of our daughter, Michele, to her wonderful now-husband, Gary. The hall was filled with love and joy. For Michele, it’s been a long time coming.

Michele knew Gary from her school days here in New Jersey. However, life took different turns for both.

At a young age, Michele eloped with David, her first husband.  David and Michele had four children: Brandon, Ryan, Taylor, and Nikolas. They moved away from all of us in NJ to Tennessee. They struggled. David suffered from a form of muscular dystrophy which worsened over the years. Toward the end of his life, he was confined to a wheelchair and other medical support. Michele and the kids helped care for David and then he passed away.

Michele was grief-stricken. She was a young widow (as I had been when I lost Rich, as Ted had been when he lost Audrey) but was not ready to wear black and mourn the rest of her young life. After some time passed, she reconnected with Gary online. He had also moved from NJ and was living in WV (I think). An increasingly close friendship grew into a long-distance relationship. Gary eventually moved to TN, and he and Michele began planning their marriage.

They could have married in TN, before a justice of the peace. But Michele wanted a traditional wedding this time. Gary had become not only a true love but a soul mate. She wanted her dad, Ted, to walk her down the aisle. She wanted her beloved Gram to see her married. She wanted to be surrounded by friends and family and deserved that happiness.

Michele and Gary added their own personal touches to the wedding. They wanted a rustic, country-western flavor, which was reflected in their choices of music, decorations, and the guys’ attire. The men all wore gray jackets, vests, white shirts, and dark blue jeans. The ladies wore gowns in shades of purple. Michele’s Uncle John arrived wearing a cowboy hat and boots.

Over the last year and before two surgeries, Ted worked in his shop to make the couple's centerpieces, easels, welcome sign, and guest book.

Michele and the bridal party traveled to New Jersey to select their gowns. Michele’s was so beautiful!

Michele planned to include many of her family members in the wedding, including her sister Linda, nieces Erin and Bella, nephew Korben, and granddaughter Arya. Tomas was to usher Gram/Lucille and me to our seats before the ceremony began.

Michele asked our son Bill if he’d consider becoming ordained in an interdenominational church so that he could officiate and marry her to Gary. Bill took the required online courses and became ordained to be able to officiate. 

Before we knew it, the big day arrived.

Ted was having joint pain as well as shoulder discomfort, so I drove, picking up Mom Lucille and driving us all to the Elks’ Lodge. It was still early so Mom Lucille and I roamed around the lodge so that we wouldn’t get stiff from sitting too long.

Gary arrived along with all the groomsmen, including brother-in-law Jay, Linda's husband.

Michele and her party were right on time. Tomas escorted Mom Lucille and me to our seats. I was up almost right away because I wanted to take pictures and videos. Michele’s son Brandon was the official photographer there. Other guests had their phones ready for pictures and videos.

I started taking a video as the parties entered. And then Ted and Michele stood at the threshold. I could see the joy on her face and the pride in his as they entered the room. Bill asked: “Who gives this woman away?” Ted raised his hand and said, “I do! I’m her father!”

As Bill began speaking, I thought of “The Wedding Song”. Peter, Paul & Mary sang that song, and I remembered learning it in my guitar class way back in 1971, over 50 years ago.  

The Wedding Song

Bill's speech was just so beautiful, the words that meant so much but were not the traditional wedding words. He memorized his entire part and carried it off without referring to any notes. Michele and Gary read their vows to each other, and then Bill proclaimed them husband and wife.

Wow. It was just so beautiful.

Everyone was up and dancing when the reception started, especially Ted and Mom Lucille. They had amazing energy considering he’d been in so much pain earlier and Mom was at the age of 91. Tomas had some awesome moves on the dance floor, and it was a joy to see him enjoying himself and getting to spend time with his maternal family.

We were happy when granddaughter Bella came over and sat with us for a good portion of the time. We don’t get to see Michele’s kids or Linda and her family much because they live so far away. I was happy to see that Michele’s kids had all come for the wedding not only because I hadn’t seen them in over 10 years but also because I knew they were still grieving for David.

There was time for speeches and Ted was up first as the father of the bride. He’d had notecards prepared to help him remember what he wanted to say. Unfortunately, the lights had been dimmed on stage and he couldn’t read all the cards. Fortunately, he could read the special prayer he’d chosen for Michele and Gary. Members of the wedding party spoke next. Bella got up and made a very grateful speech to Michele. The most moving speech of all came from Brandon, who praised Michele as the best mother ever.

Not surprisingly, Gram eventually tired and needed to go home. Heidi and Kristin volunteered to take her.  I have to say, I have some awesome kids. I am so proud of each one of them.

When it was time to go home, we all had such a happy glow that lasted right into today, despite the miserable weather.

These are a few of the stills I took from the wedding and reception.

Our Michele

Bill

Gary & Michele's first dance

group hug: daughter Kristin, niece Julie, Gram, daughter Heidi

Bill, me, Tomas & Ted

Michele and her beloved Gram

Heidi, Gram & Kristin

Michele & Gary, congratulations and happy best wishes!

 

 

Homer's Odyssey

 

A dear friend who is also a cat lover recommended Homer’s Odyssey by Gwen Cooper some time back, and I finally got around to it. It’s been on my to-be-read list for a long time. I kept picking up random books whenever I went into the library to pick up one of my books.

My friend and others who’ve read about Homer said it was inspiring. It was that and much more.  Homer’s story is nothing short of miraculous as well as inspiring. Abandoned as a tiny kitten, a caring veterinarian decided to save his life in spite of the fact that he would be blind.

Gwen Cooper was a single working professional with two cats. Both of her cats had been rescued as abandoned kittens. The veterinarian who’d saved Homer was desperately trying to find him a home. It seemed no one wanted a kitten with a disability. But Gwen decided to come to the vet’s office and meet Homer.

Homer, throughout the story, was amazing. He was able to carry out feats the other two cats wouldn’t have dreamed of trying. With a never-ending curiosity and bravado, Homer easily adapted and navigated through a sightless world. Gwen, ever protective, made accommodations to keep him safe.

Originally, I thought this would be an inspiring feel-good story, but I was mistaken. There were situations that put me on the edge of my seat, turning the pages and unable to stop until I found out what happened.  Homer’s story is more than just a light-hearted read, although there were times I found myself laughing harder than I have at comedies. It’s a story of courage, love, and the ability to overcome a seemingly insurmountable obstacle.

You don’t have to be a cat lover or animal lover to enjoy Homer’s story on so many levels.

 

American Cancer Society's Write 30 Minutes a Day Challenge

 

I am participating in the American Cancer Society’s challenge to write for thirty minutes each day in May. I do a lot of writing and I can meet this challenge. What I plan to do is make a blog entry each day with what I’ve written.

I wanted to participate in memory of loved ones who fought cancer bravely but succumbed:

My brother-in-law Jeff

My sister-in-law Ann

My dear friend Kay

I also wanted to help raise money to support research and a cure for all those who are currently fighting with this vicious disease.

My Facebook to the fundraiser is here.

Thank you to all who wish to support the American Cancer Society this month.

The First Earth Day

 

When I was a kid, before junior high school, I can remember going with my family on a long road trip into Virginia. We were led there by friends of my parents from the Deaf club in Baltimore. They were outdoors people and knew of beautiful, isolated places in which we could picnic and swim in the Potomac River.  I remember the deep green of the seeming forest and the quiet, except for singing birds and rustling unseen little animals. The water was clear, cool, and refreshing. It was clean. I fell in love with it, and so did my family. When my aunt, uncle, and cousins came down for a visit from Long Island, we remembered our way back and took them there.

I have no idea what it looks like now, over 50 years later. I’m pretty sure the water isn’t clean anymore, and that people shouldn’t swim in it.

I remember the first commercial I saw about pollution and the environment, and it made a big impact on me. I noticed litter along the sides of roads and highways from drivers carelessly tossing their trash out an open window. I noticed litter dropped wherever a person might be walking, and in parking lots where they’d just dump their car ashtrays.

 

Nowadays, I see masks littering the parking lots of stores along with the usual drink containers and snack bags.  Even on our rural roads, there’s always trash poking up from the grass along the sides.  People don’t seem to care at all.

I have seen people dump their drink cups and snack bags when there is a trash receptacle just a few steps away.  I wonder what is wrong with people that should be so careless with the only home we have?My husband and I will pick up trash we see lying around and dispose of them.It's so easy to put trash in its proper place.

There was a difference on our first Earth Day, this day in 1970. There was more of a spirit of cooperation and concern for the Earth. I was 15 years old on that first Earth Day, and I felt hopeful. I hoped that the waterways would be cleaned up from the poisons polluting them from companies dumping their wastes. I hoped drivers would stop throwing their trash out the window and wait until they came to a place to safely dispose of it. I hoped pedestrians and picnic goers wouldn’t litter as they walked or ate.  So much for the hopes of a teenager.

I read Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring some time in the late 1980s-early 1990s. I wish everyone would read it.  I didn’t understand all the chemistry she wrote about, but I did understand one thing she wrote that gave me a kick in the stomach: anyone born after 1954 (year I was born) carried DDT in their livers.  DDT. That’s a poison freely used until it was banned years later. But many of our parents and we small children were sprayed with it as the dust croppers flew overhead.

Now we have forever chemicals and tiny bits of plastic this’n’that that we’re breathing in or ingesting.  Forever.  They don’t go away. They become part of us.

Last August, the Inflation Reduction Act was passed. Tucked into it were funds to help the environment and combat climate change. It was the first piece of legislation to address environmental issues in years. This year, the Rethuglicans would like to gut it and roll back other measures President Biden put into place to fight climate change and help poor beleaguered Mother Nature.

Where do these Rethuglicans think, people are supposed to live after planet Earth has been destroyed?  Maybe they think Elon Musk will have built enough spaceships to take all the rich people to … where?

I miss the 1970s.

For more on Earth Day and the background leading up to it:

Heather Cox Richardson 

This Day in History