Atypical Coda: "There Is Love"

Yesterday, we witnessed and celebrated the marriage of our daughter, Michele, to her wonderful now-husband, Gary. The hall was filled with love and joy. For Michele, it’s been a long time coming.

Michele knew Gary from her school days here in New Jersey. However, life took different turns for both.

At a young age, Michele eloped with David, her first husband. David and Michele had four children: Brandon, Ryan, Taylor, and Nikolas. They moved away from all of us in NJ to Tennessee. They struggled. David suffered from a form of muscular dystrophy which worsened over the years. Toward the end of his life, he was confined to a wheelchair and other medical support. Michele and the kids helped care for David and then he passed away.

Michele was grief-stricken. She was a young widow (as I had been when I lost Rich, as Ted had been when he lost Audrey) but was not ready to wear black and mourn the rest of her young life. After some time passed, she reconnected with Gary online. He had also moved from NJ and was living in WV (I think). An increasingly close friendship grew into a long-distance relationship. Gary eventually moved to TN, and he and Michele began planning their marriage.

They could have married in TN, before a justice of the peace. But Michele wanted a traditional wedding this time. Gary had become not only a true love but a soul mate. She wanted her dad, Ted, to walk her down the aisle. She wanted her beloved Gram to see her married. She wanted to be surrounded by friends and family and deserved that happiness.

Michele and Gary added their own personal touches to the wedding. They wanted a rustic, country-western flavor, which was reflected in their choices of music, decorations, and the guys’ attire. The men all wore gray jackets, vests, white shirts, and dark blue jeans. The ladies wore gowns in shades of purple. Michele’s Uncle John arrived wearing a cowboy hat and boots.

Over the last year and before two surgeries, Ted worked in his shop to make the couple's centerpieces, easels, welcome sign, and guest book.

Michele and the bridal party traveled to New Jersey to select their gowns. Michele’s was so beautiful!

Michele planned to include many of her family members in the wedding, including her sister Linda, nieces Erin and Bella, nephew Korben, and granddaughter Arya. Tomas was to usher Gram/Lucille and me to our seats before the ceremony began.

Michele asked our son Bill if he’d consider becoming ordained in an interdenominational church so that he could officiate and marry her to Gary. Bill took the required online courses and became ordained to be able to officiate.

Before we knew it, the big day arrived.

Ted was having joint pain as well as shoulder discomfort, so I drove, picking up Mom Lucille and driving us all to the Elks’ Lodge. It was still early so Mom Lucille and I roamed around the lodge so that we wouldn’t get stiff from sitting too long.

Gary arrived along with all the groomsmen, including brother-in-law Jay, Linda's husband.

Michele and her party were right on time. Tomas escorted Mom Lucille and me to our seats. I was up almost right away because I wanted to take pictures and videos. Michele’s son Brandon was the official photographer there. Other guests had their phones ready for pictures and videos.

I started taking a video as the parties entered. And then Ted and Michele stood at the threshold. I could see the joy on her face and the pride in his as they entered the room. Bill asked: “Who gives this woman away?” Ted raised his hand and said, “I do! I’m her father!”

As Bill began speaking, I thought of “The Wedding Song”. Peter, Paul & Mary sang that song, and I remembered learning it in my guitar class way back in 1971, over 50 years ago.

The Wedding Song

Bill's speech was just so beautiful, the words that meant so much but were not the traditional wedding words. He memorized his entire part and carried it off without referring to any notes. Michele and Gary read their vows to each other, and then Bill proclaimed them husband and wife.

Wow. It was just so beautiful.

Everyone was up and dancing when the reception started, especially Ted and Mom Lucille. They had amazing energy considering he’d been in so much pain earlier and Mom was at the age of 91. Tomas had some awesome moves on the dance floor, and it was a joy to see him enjoying himself and getting to spend time with his maternal family.

We were happy when granddaughter Bella came over and sat with us for a good portion of the time. We don’t get to see Michele’s kids or Linda and her family much because they live so far away. I was happy to see that Michele’s kids had all come for the wedding not only because I hadn’t seen them in over 10 years but also because I knew they were still grieving for David.

There was time for speeches and Ted was up first as the father of the bride. He’d had notecards prepared to help him remember what he wanted to say. Unfortunately, the lights had been dimmed on stage and he couldn’t read all the cards. Fortunately, he could read the special prayer he’d chosen for Michele and Gary. Members of the wedding party spoke next. Bella got up and made a very grateful speech to Michele. The most moving speech of all came from Brandon, who praised Michele as the best mother ever.

Not surprisingly, Gram eventually tired and needed to go home. Heidi and Kristin volunteered to take her. I have to say, I have some awesome kids. I am so proud of each one of them.

When it was time to go home, we all had such a happy glow that lasted right into today, despite the miserable weather.

These are a few of the stills I took from the wedding and reception.