When One Door Closes, Look For An Open One

 

A little history. I am 68.

My first “real” job out of high school was as a clerk typist for an insurance company. I am a fast typist not only because of a class I took but because I am a writer with a Remington at home to type away on.

I went from there to the State of Maryland as a unit secretary for a hearing and speech office. I was fluent in American Sign Language as well and communicated with Deaf clients. I moved on to become an executive secretary at Gallaudet University.

One day, a Deaf client signed to me: “Why are you making coffee? You should be an interpreter.” I became certified with the National Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf.

After 5 years of clerical experience, I made a major career change. Over the next 20 odd years, I signed and voiced for Deaf clients in schools, doctors’ offices, hospitals, vocational training centers, workshops, plays, government and other meetings, and places of employment. I loved it.

My hands and wrists developed repetitive motion injuries in the 1990s. Up until then, an interpreter had to sign without a break unless the speaker gave one to the class/group. I kept interpreting, sometimes wearing splints on my hands. Many interpreters were developing similar injuries and so, finally, teams of two interpreters were sent to any assignment that would last 2 hours or more.  One would sign for 30 minutes and then rest, while the second would take over.

I also had a side gig, working alongside my first husband at a market research company. I began as an interviewer and then worked my way up to shift supervisor. Interpreting jobs slowed in the summer and working at this company kept the dollars coming in. During the school year, I’d limit my hours there to weekends.

My first husband died in 2001, and my hand/wrist injuries worsened. I had to stop early in 2002.

I met and married a wonderful man I met online. My 3 children and I moved to New Jersey. My new husband was a union sheet metal worker, a draftsman at the time. He thought I shouldn’t continue working unless I wanted to, and I decided to stay home to finish raising my kids.

So, there was a gap, a long one. I wasn’t inactive, however. I volunteered for different organizations. My favorite one was as a reader for Book Mates, a program to encourage a love of reading in kids who needed extra attention.

The pandemic and quarantine added to my gap.

After it was over, I realized the kids had grown up and moved out on their own. My husband had become disabled, tearing both his right and left rotator cuffs. He had surgery five times on the right shoulder, all failures, and most recently, a reverse shoulder replacement. 

We’d both received disability income and payments from his pension. At age 65, we went from disability income to social security retirement. Expenses increased; our incomes didn’t keep up.

I joined AARP. One of their articles was about older people working in remote jobs; it was supposed to be easier for us older folk to return to or remain in the workforce.  I wanted to bring in extra income so that we weren’t always just treading water.

How hard could this be? I was a proficient typist and had at least 5 years of clerical experience. I had another 4-5 years of market research experience. I couldn’t interpret anymore but for many of those 20+ years, I’d worked as an interpreter/tutor for many school districts.  I could explain away the gap by saying I was raising my kids and then the pandemic.

I followed some of the links AARP provided and became quickly frustrated because 1 link always led to another and to another and to another. The job I’d originally been interested in seemed to move further away from me instead of moving closer. I went to the State of New Jersey website as suggested but they didn’t have an option for remote jobs only.

My daughters suggested I stick with Indeed and stay away from the other help-you-find-a-job sites. They were on target. The others all wanted to send me on wild goose link checking places.  Indeed sent me lists of places I felt I could apply to, and I did.  I applied for entry level customer service or call center jobs. AARP said those were the types of jobs I’d be most likely get.

Wrong.

Some places sent polite emails thanking me for applying but after consideration, they’d decided to move on with other candidates.  Most didn’t bother to notify me at all. Month after month, job after job, I was getting nowhere.

Well, I thought, OK, I’m not proud. I’ll look for no experience necessary. Maybe my skills are too outdated. I got plenty of invitations to webinars. I went to several and about 10 minutes in, I knew they were either about sales or they were scams. By scams, here’s an example: I could be a travel agent, yes! And there’d be all these wonderful benefits…normally such a fantastic training deal complete with website and other assists would cost about $100/mo. but for this month only, it would be reduced to $69/mo. No, thanks.

Maybe remote wasn’t for me. How about our local school district? Oh, look, here are plenty of classroom aide positions. I applied for several and interviewed at two. I looked at the other people who came to be interviewed. I was the oldest. That shouldn’t matter, right?  I felt I did very well with the interviews but … no.  As for the other school aide positions, they all went to candidates without me being selected for an interview.

One early childhood center looked promising, and we went back and forth. One of the questions they asked (and many do ask this question, very sneaky) was in what year did I graduate high school? 1973. Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to subtract 17 or 18 from 1973 and come up with 1954-55 as a birth year.

It seems our school district and Kinder Care may not believe a 68 year old can handle young children. Ever heard of grandchildren, people?

I heard from a company called Arise. They seemed very willing to work with me. All I had to do was register and then sign up for one of their many clients. They were all about remote, customer service jobs. I had many choices but finally selected Holland America Lines. Training provided.

I was so relieved! At last, after months of searching, a job! Part of the training involved what was called “prework” and “homework”. Believe me, it was work. The expectation was one would do 3 hours of this homework and then go sit in a 4 hour class from M-F for several weeks. I was determined to do it.

Meanwhile, I also heard from a tutoring company, and I was thrilled. I loved being in the classroom, working with kids and especially on reading/language skills. The tutoring organization  provided a curriculum to follow. I went through a brief paid training and then sent away fingerprint kits. I would be tutoring in several states and CA, TX, FL, MD, and MI all required fingerprints and background checks.

While I waited to get those packets, I began training on the Arise platform. One of my first biggest surprises was that training was NOT paid for. The philosophy, I guess, was we were getting all this wonderful FREE training and were self-employed contractors to boot. Oh.

My family’s reaction: unheard of! Why waste your valuable time doing all that prework and classwork and not get paid? My answer: well, no one else will hire me and I haven’t gotten all my security clearances from the states yet for the tutoring company.

Besides, learning about cruise travel was fun. The class was fun. The teacher was awesome. But there were big problems still coming. We were supposed to get codes from the client so that we would be able to access their systems so that we could practice. Weeks went by. No codes. Now we were supposed to go on the phone and get paid to take a few calls and practice. No codes, no calls. I began to get restless. It was getting close to Christmas, and I was hoping for the extra income for gift shopping.

We didn’t get the codes until two days before we were to go online full time without having full access to coaches. We felt like we were being thrown into the deep end of the ocean without a life raft. Worse, one of their systems wasn’t compatible with my laptop and their tech support couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

Long story short: I’d passed the course with a 96% but was unable to service the contract not because of inexperience but because of this tech issue.

It was depressing. I was back to square one most of January, applying for jobs without any real hope of success. Finally, though, my clearances for enough of the states came through so that I could finally begin tutoring. That was at the end of February of this year.

Here is another incorrect assumption I’d made about the tutoring. I thought I would be provided with a schedule. No. The way it worked was that opportunities would be “dropped” at a specific time and hundreds of tutors would compete for them.  Does anyone remember the Cabbage Patch Doll frenzy? That’s what it felt like!

Over March and April, though, I managed to pick up 10 half hour sessions meeting 3 times a week. For two months, April and May, I was bringing in a decent check. In June, school’s out for summer. There would be some summertime opportunities but all the teachers in the country were also out of school, and many were competing for the few summer jobs.

I needed a summer gig.

Here we go again.

After weeks of no-nibbles from places I applied to in May and early June, I went back to Arise. They had only one opportunity: Home Depot. OK, that’s a good company. This time I knew what to expect: no paid training. Still, it looked like I would start earning after just a week of training so it wouldn’t be so bad. I knew the drill: prework and homework.

I got it all done. I spent several hours Friday, Saturday, Sunday and yesterday getting all the required work done and even a bit of todays. I was feeling pretty good during the class. The teacher said something about a glitch in which 2 Home Depots had shown up and most of us had been in the “wrong” Home Depot. All the work was wiped out. Oh wow, I thought, how awful. I’m so glad that didn’t happen to me.

Until we broke for all the unfortunates to “do over” all the work they’d lost for the “right” Home Depot. I went to check and see how many modules I needed to complete for the Tuesday class and saw I had nothing. Nada. Zip. All that work I’d done was gone. It had been there when I went into class. Now, I was looking at 0 completed modules.

I went ballistic. Everyone else had scurried off to try and cram 4 days of work into a night, but not me. The teacher was a bit of a cold fish. She seemed incredulous that I hadn’t realized I might have been in the wrong class too. I’d seen there were two classes but went to the room with the same name I’d signed up for. Well, she said she would talk to the uppity ups and see if something could get worked out. She didn’t understand why I was the only one complaining, though.

I thought it was because everyone else is too young to know better or to scared to protest how unfair this is. What I did say was if I couldn’t get credit for the work I’d done, I would drop. “That’s your choice,” she said. Yeah, way to be all about those Home Depot values.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming Home Depot. They’re a good company. I blame Arise. You know that old saying, Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me? Well, I’m the fool.

Month after month, I’ve been beating my head against a wall trying to find a customer service or call center job. Last night, after I finally calmed down, I had a little talk with God. So, what’s up? I wondered. Is this a message that this is not for me? I should stop this and focus on … what?

Writing? Yes, but I need more discipline and guidance. Tutoring online? Yes, that door hadn’t shut, and no one seemed to care how old I was. I just needed more access to other tutoring companies. They all wanted tutors with bachelor’s degrees, and I only had an AA.

TB and I had a long talk about what I want to do. I have two gifts: writing and tutoring, born of being an empathic soul. So, there are two things I would like to do.  Yes, I am 68 but have no intention of sitting in my rocking chair all day.

I’m going to apply to Rowan and get a bachelor’s degree in education Inclusion. Having a BA will open more teaching and tutoring positions.

And I’m going to focus a lot more of my energy on writing. I have had a lot of experiences that I can share with adults and kids too.

Onward and upward, one foot in front of the other.

Day 9: It's All in the 'Tude

 Today I was reading a portion of the Axios Finish Line I received in email. In it, Mike Allen wrote that people begin to feel their youth slipping away when they are 42. They begin to feel old at age 52. He asked for input from the readers. When did I start to notice my age and how am I navigating it?

I am noticing my age now and am ignoring it. I did think about it during my efforts to find a part-time gig online. The advice I read from the AARP was that seniors could find jobs working from home. I began looking in August 2022. I applied everywhere my skills matched the employers’ requirements but was passed over repeatedly.

It must be my age, I thought. This year, I finally began working as an online tutor. I love it. I have an interview this week with our school district’s early childhood education program. I have an AA in Early Childhood Ed and years of experience tutoring children and assisting teachers. Yet, I wonder what my interviewers will think when I meet them. Will they see an asset to the team, or will they see the wrinkles on my neck and face?

I am sixty-eight. What does 68 feel like? I can’t say because in my mind, I am young. My body moves more slowly than it used to, and I have challenges with opening jars that I never had before. I have creeping arthritis and ache from time to time. Sometimes I need to nap.

The challenges don’t slow me down.

As for opening jars, pill bottles, and what have you, I have tools to help me when my fingers don’t want to cooperate. I have rheumatoid arthritis, especially in my fingers. I used to keep handwritten journals. Over the years, it’s become more difficult to hold a pen or pencil and write more than a few sentences. I got around that and use my laptop when I want to write. As for texting and instant messages, there’s a blessed thing called a microphone.

One of my favorite activities is walking, especially on park trails. When our grandson was small, Ted and I must have visited every park in southern New Jersey. I used to have to stop and take breaks because of issues with my spine. I have spinal stenosis and mild scoliosis. Despite that, being out in the fresh air and in the company of my husband and grandson was so invigorating and joyful. Last November, I had a minimally invasive procedure on my spine. Now I can walk a 2–3-mile trail without stopping for a break.

For me, navigating the years is all about attitude.

When I was forty-two, I still felt like a young person. I married and began having babies in my thirties. That year, they were 9, 7, and 3. I was working full time by day and my late first husband Rich worked nights to save on daycare. When I came home from work, Rich passed the children to me. I would take them on walks to local playgrounds or the library. We participated in scouting and school activities. I didn’t give a thought to being 42.

At 52, our grandson was two and living with us temporarily. Kids that age are highly active. I noticed increasing pain and had gained too much weight, but I didn’t slow down. My now husband Ted and I were like new parents all over again. We weren’t rocking chair grandparents to say the least.

At 55, we decided for the sake of our health to have bariatric surgery. Together, we lost a total of 350 pounds. What a difference it made. Now when we took our grandson to a park, we were happily able to get on some of the equipment with him.

It’s all in the mindset, despite any pain or physical limitations. It’s all in making adaptations to make activities easier. It’s all in staying in motion. If I were going to answer Mike Allen, these are the things I would tell him about navigating my senior years.

I am participating in the American Cancer Society’s challenge to write for thirty minutes each day in May. I do a lot of writing and I can meet this challenge. I plan to make a blog entry each day with what I’ve written.

I wanted to participate in memory of loved ones who fought cancer bravely but succumbed:

My brother-in-law Jeff

My sister-in-law Ann

My dear friend Kay

My Uncle Bob

My Uncle John

 

I also wanted to help raise money to support research and a cure for those currently fighting this vicious disease.

My Facebook to the fundraiser is here. 

Day 7: Sunday Funday

I know about the horrible mass shooting in Texas…again. But today is not the day I want to write about it.

Today I’ve made this Sunday a Fun Day. I sat down and read the funnies, savoring each one. I practiced some Spanish. I signed up with Duolingo and, with their free program, have been learning the language. I began learning Spanish because I saw so many calls for Spanish-speaking tutors. I don’t know how fluent I can become but would like to be able to eventually fill in.

Yesterday was a Mother’s Day Celebration at mother-in-law Lucille’s development. She’d bought tickets for Ted and me as a gift for me. We were grateful because it wasn’t inexpensive for her. We picked her up and headed to the neighborhood center.

The event was well attended, and the buffet food was delicious.  I wish I’d remembered to bring my program home with me because the musician was a talented and engaging saxophonist/flutist with everyone up and dancing, especially Lucille.  

 

The musician, whose nickname was Yes Yes, noticed Lucille dancing her heart out. He took a break from playing to come off the stage and slowly danced with her. It was such a lovely, sweet dance that I thought I’d captured it with my phone’s video camera. For some reason, though, it didn’t record. Later, though, Lucille and Yes Yes danced together again briefly during a line dance, and I’m sharing it here.

 

Last night, a photographer was at the dinner. We were allowed as many shots as we liked, and they were free. These are pictures taken of Lucille, Ted, and me.

 

I am so inspired by my mother-in-law. She is 90 and not long ago, was hospitalized seriously ill with covid. After she recovered from that, she suffered a bout with an infected gall bladder. The infection had to be treated first and then removed. It left her in a weakened state, but she’s always had a strong will and lively spark within her.

I would like to get up and boogey like that if I get to 90.

I am not ready for the rocking chair. There is still much I can do and much I can learn. I want to keep that spark and determination going within me, and that is why I want to learn Spanish and even work on getting a BA in special education. Why not? I’m only 68!

Michele shared pictures her eldest, Brandon, took at the wedding last week. Brandon was the official photographer and we thought he might investigate pursuing it as a career. The pictures were gorgeous, and I wish I could share them all. I had some problems uploading the few that I’ve shared already. I created a Facebook album and I also have them all loaded into my Google Photos. Here are some of the photos Brandon took:

 

 

 

I have one more fun thing to do today on the computer. I want to make a photo album of my daughters’ new house. Heidi and Kristin bought a lovely house within a five-minute drive of our house. I am so thrilled to have them close by. All week, they’ve been working at the house to get it in order before they move in.  Yesterday they told us they were done with most of the painting.  Ted and I had had a very busy week, so we weren’t able to help as much as we wanted to but were able to show up to hang out for a little while each day they were there. 

 One fun fact I learned today: like me, Bruce Springsteen has his roots in Ireland. I have always loved the Boss and his music but had no idea that he was of Irish heritage until I read this article. Sláinte, Bruce!

As for the rest of Sunday, it’s so nice that Ted will be grilling hamburgers. After dinner, we can watch a movie and then cap it off with reading.

It’s been an amazingly restful Sunday.

I am participating in the American Cancer Society’s challenge to write for thirty minutes each day in May. I do a lot of writing and I can meet this challenge. What I plan to do is make a blog entry each day with what I’ve written.

I wanted to participate in memory of loved ones who fought cancer bravely but succumbed:

My brother-in-law Jeff

My sister-in-law Ann

My dear friend Kay

I also wanted to help raise money to support research and a cure for all those who are currently fighting this vicious disease.

My Facebook to the fundraiser is here.

Thank you to all who wish to support the American Cancer Society this month.