And Now For Something Completely Different

 I have another rant going on but I'm not done with it yet.  It's Sunday and I sure could use a day of peace & quiet.  I found a scan disk with a lot of old writing on it.  This story is over 10 years old and is a sort of re-telling of a fairy tale.  Readers will figure out which one early on.  Enjoy!

Hazel's Dilemma

 

            Hazel sipped at her steaming cup of tea, luxuriating in the comforting warmth curling up to her nose.   Birds fluttered by, chirping merrily and Hazel was drawn to her kitchen window to watch them celebrating the morning.    She settled down in her chair at the table to relax and watch the birds flock to the feeder she’d erected for them in her spacious back yard.  The picture window in the kitchen was by far the selling point of her tiny home.

            “We made a very wise purchase, didn’t we, Jim?”  She thought with a bittersweet smile.  Her eyes went to his chair, now empty, where he used to sit contentedly beside her.  I certainly will enjoy a lot more privacy here.  I won’t be bothered with family overnight for there’s no room for everyone to stay!  I can do as I please when I please!

            The realization pleased her to no end.  She’d had enough of caretaking.  She’d doted on her children Cee Cee, Tommy  Tom, Jimsy and Dee Dee, catering to their every need and whim.  Mothering was fun at first but then the children began to grow up.    She and Jim didn’t agree on how the children should be disciplined.  Jim would put them into time out and she’d feel sorry for them, go behind his back, and set them free.  To her horror and shame, none of them learned a lick of responsibility and were frequently unemployed, down and out, homeless, or in some kind of trouble.

            Hazel had never understood the concept of a mama bird pushing her babies out of the next until her own became adults.  They didn’t want to help around the house, didn’t appreciate anything and expected everything.   It was time for them to go.  It wasn’t easy to get them out but they’d done it—only to have one or the other come back for a time.  A job was lost or the car engine was blown or there was some other reason one of the children had to return. 

            “They’re never going to learn if you keep letting them come back, “ Jim complained.

            “I just can’t let them be homeless,” Hazel would say.

When whichever adult child moved in, the old problems would begin again:  no help around the house, a sense of entitlement and no appreciation.  The frustration would begin again as Hazel felt herself losing control of her house.  She knew Jim was right but just couldn’t say no to her needy children.

            “What are we going to do about this?”  Jim asked.  “Our shoe is too big for us to manage now and the children will always keep coming back to us because you just can’t say no to them!”

            “Let’s buy a smaller shoe!”  Hazel said impulsively.

            They went out looking before Hazel could change her mind.  They found the perfect little loafer and made an offer on it immediately.  Now they could be free at last to enjoy a life of their own choosing, one that didn’t include the needs of selfish children.  Unfortunately, Jim fell ill soon after that and she found herself taking care of him.  Hazel felt more and more strained as her husband’s health continued to fail.  After a year, he very passed away and Hazel grieved.

            Although Hazel missed her husband terribly, there was still a sense of freedom to being able to enjoy this cup of tea without having to bring medicine to Jim or to clean up after one of the children.  Today was certainly going to be a beautiful day!  She wondered what she might do.  She could go for a walk on the footpath through the woods.  She could call a friend and make lunch plans.  She could go to the library and browse through their shelves of books.  The possibilities were limitless!

            The phone rang.   It was Cee Cee, unmarried and with three small children.  “Mama, I got to go outta town for a job training and I need you to watch the kids,” she said.

            “Out of town?  For how long?”  Hazel asked.

            “A week I guess,” Cee Cee replied offhandedly.

            “But I have no room for the little darlings,” Hazel protested, picturing a wild tribe of aborigines leaping over her furniture and knocking over her knick knacks.  Cee Cee had even less control over her children than Hazel had ever had.

            “But, mama, if you can’t take them, I’ll lose my job!  I won’t get paid and then I’ll be out on the street because I haven’t paid the rent in almost two months.”

            Hazel groaned, shuddering inwardly.  She couldn’t have her grandchildren on the streets because their mother was so irresponsible.  She supposed she could put them into the spare room.  They were all still small enough to fit a double bed.  “All right,” she acquiesced, saying good bye to all the potential plans of the day.

            Suddenly the lovely day wasn’t so beautiful anymore.  Her daughter came by and dropped her grandchildren off.  The children were immediately restless and began to chase each other around the house.  “Go outside and play!” she called ineffectively.

            “It’s too hot Gran’ma!”  One of the children called back.  “Can’t we play video games?”

            “I don’t have video games,” she answered and they looked at her as if she was an alien with purple skin.  “Why don’t we play a nice game of cards?  How about Crazy Eights?”

            In answer, one child tagged another and they chased each other around the house again.

            Oh dear, thought Hazel.  What will I do?  They didn’t seem to want to walk outside, complaining it was too hot.  Maybe she could take them to the mall?   What if they started demanding things?  That was a very real possibility.  Maybe she could take them to the movies.  There must be a Disney movie playing somewhere!

            The phone rang again.  This time it was Dee Dee’s neighbor.  It seemed Dee Dee and her husband had been arrested for selling drugs to an undercover police officer that morning.  The neighbor was calling to see if Hazel would take in the four children.  If not, they’d have to go to Child Protective Services.

            Dazed, Hazel agreed, wondering what on earth she was going to do now.  She thought to call Tommy Tom and ask for help.  Maybe he could take some of the children.

            “Well, I might do it, Ma,” Tommy Tom said slowly as a heavy bass made Hazel’s ear piece vibrate, “but we got to move.  I’m packing the truck now, matter of fact.”

            “Again?  But why?”  Hazel asked, dismayed.

            “Aw, they say we play our music too loud and have loud parties and crap,” Tom Tom replied with a snort.  “Can you believe that?  I mean, I’m listening to something now.  It’s not loud, right?”

            Hazel just said goodbye and hung up.  Jimsy already lived under a bridge and wouldn’t be able to help at all.  He’d been working on her to move into the spare bedroom and she’d resisted so far but felt herself wavering.

            By the end of what had now become a miserable day, Hazel was beside herself.  The seven children were running rampant through her loafer, knocking over and breaking her cherished knickknacks.  Where would they all sleep?  She thought she’d figured it out but now had all these extra bodies.  She supposed she’d have to give up her bed, too, and sleep in her recliner.  What about feeding them?  Normally, she’d make a full dinner but after all the destruction the children had wrought, she just didn’t feel like it.  Some Campbell’s chicken broth would do.  Maybe they’d get the message.

            As she started to open cans of soup, she heard another loud crash.  Wearily, she dropped into her kitchen chair.  She just didn’t know what to do!

 

 

 

Birthday Luncheon

Last month, I submitted a flash fiction entry to a contest by Writers' Advice.  I didn't win, but I did get honorable mention.  I was very happy with that and will continue to participate in the contests.  For a small fee, they'll give you feedback about your submission.  It's worth it to me to have that advice.

I'd posted this before under a different title.  I like this title better.

Birthday Luncheon

 

It really pisses me off when I have to waste my free time feeling bored.    Why do I have to go to family lunches and stuff like that?  No one talks to me, well, hardly ever.  Today we had to go because it’s Nana’s birthday.  I don’t even know how old Nana is!  My father got out of it because he works.  I told my mom I needed to do homework and she said she didn’t want to hear it because it’s Saturday and I can do it tomorrow.  It’s not fair.

At least the restaurant we went to is kind of fun.  It has all kinds of cool things up on the walls.  There’s a really old bicycle.  It has to be ancient because it doesn’t even have any brakes on the handles.  There’s a lot of pictures of people from olden times.  Some of them look like movie pictures.  There’s a really rough looking guy in a big cowboy hat.  He’s laughing about something.  Maybe someone called him beautiful – not!  There’s also a guy wearing a raincoat and a brown slouch hat almost down over his eyes.  He’s really ugly – and old.  There are sports things up there, too – a hockey stick and a baseball mitt.  The weirdest thing up there is someone’s arm sticking out of the wall.  I guess it’s from a dummy model but I wonder why they just stuck an arm up there?  Where did the rest of it go?

My mother and Nana yakked across the table while I looked around the room at all the cool stuff.  Brian kicked me under the table.  I stuck my tongue out at him but he was pointing to something over our heads.  It was just an old airplane.  So, what.  He was trying to tell me something but I wouldn’t look at him.  Brothers are so stupid, especially the older ones.  They think they know everything.

I was bored so I grabbed a dessert menu off the table and opened it up.    At first, I didn’t understand why all the desserts were in tall float glasses and then I realized that this was a drink menu.  I didn’t want Brian to know that I made a mistake so I kept looking at it just long enough to be able to put it back down without getting all embarrassed.

When I looked up, I saw the waiter standing by Brian’s shoulder.  He was writing and Brian’s mouth was moving, telling the waiter what he wanted.   I tapped my mother on the shoulder but she was still talking to Nana.  Why didn’t she tell me the waiter was there?  I tapped her again but she held her hand up. I hate it when they do that.  They don’t ever bother to talk to us and they expect us to just sit there and be polite.  I tapped her again, harder.

“WHAT?” my mother signed to me, looking exasperated.  “What do you want?”

I fingerspelled: “S-p-r-i-t-e.”

 

The Feud: Cathy's Story

 This picks up Cathy's story again from Grandma's Broken Leg.  What I'm posting is just first draft stuff.

Cathy thought they would go home after they left Uncle Bill and Aunt Ruth.  They were all still in their bathing suits.  Cathy’s was dry by now and the sand caught inside itched.  Still, she was happy to see that they were going to see Aunt Dodie and Uncle Jim instead.  She loved playing with her cousins.

Once they arrived, Aunt Dodie told them through Dottie that it was too hot to go outside.  The children decided to play Parcheesi while the adults signed back and forth.  Cathy knew her parents were telling her aunt and uncle all about what happened to Grandma.  She could tell by their shocked expressions and Aunt Dodie’s moan.  The conversation continued while the children played.

The sounds of angry hands coming together made Cathy look up.  Mama and Aunt Dodie were both red-in-the-face and it was their hands making loud angry noises as they signed.  Their voices were flat but very breathy and angry sounding.  Cathy saw the other three children were watching now too and she asked Dottie, “What’s the matter?”

Dottie watched the conversation for a few minutes and then answered, “It’s about who will take care of Grandma during the week.  Your mom wants to split up the week but my mom says she can’t until the weekends cuz we have school.”

“But Mikey and I have school too,” Cathy pointed out.  She didn’t understand.

After another moment, Dodie said, “My mom says it’s cuz Jimmy is just starting first grade.”

Cathy frowned, puzzled.  So?  Mikey was just starting kindergarten.

Daddy and Uncle Jimmy weren’t signing much.  They would exchange glances and shrug now and then.

Mama stood up.  She was signing very fast now and was clearly outraged.  Daddy stood up, too, and began signing quietly to her.  He was trying to calm Mama down, Cathy realized.

“What is it?”  Cathy asked Dottie again.  Jimmy and Mikey watched, wide-eyed.

“I think they’re going to do it my mom’s way, but your mom doesn’t like it,” Dottie explained.  “Uncle Mike is saying that he’ll take care of you and Mikey until it’s time for him to work.  And now my mom is saying she’ll come over and fix you dinner Monday through Friday, and then my dad will come over to watch you guys until Uncle Mike gets home.”

It sounded quite complicated.

Mama was already heading out the front door.  Daddy gestured to Cathy and Mikey to get up.  “Time to go home,” he said to them.

But Mama was still very angry.  Cathy felt afraid.  Mama was scary when she got that angry. 

 

When Grandma came home from the hospital, Mama packed up right away to go spend the work week with her.  Cathy cried because Mama wouldn’t let her come along to see Grandma.  Aunt Dodie came over with Dottie and Jimmy because Daddy had already left for work.  Cathy was comforted by the presence of her cousins.

For about a month, life took on a very different routine.  Daddy would get Cathy and Mikey up to have breakfast and get ready for school.  He made bag lunches for them while they dressed.  Cathy was quite pleased at first to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and banana every day.  What a treat!  After a week and a half, though, she began to grow very tired of it.  Mama gave them ham and cheese or bologna and cheese during the week too.  Cathy didn’t complain to Daddy, though, because she didn’t want to make trouble.

One Friday night, Mama came home exhausted.  She signed with Uncle Jim and then went into her bedroom and shut the door.  Cathy asked Dottie what had happened.  “Aunt Maggie doesn’t feel very well and so she asked my father to stay until Uncle Mike gets home,” Dottie explained.

The children sat down to watch television.  Soon Daddy arrived home and instead of leaving, Uncle Jim stayed to “talk”.  That pleased the children to no end: now they could stay up late.  Dottie changed the channels on the TV until she found a late-night scary film called “The House On Haunted Hill.”

“No, it has ghosts,” Cathy objected.  She didn’t like scary things.  The wicked witch and her monkeys always made her cover her eyes when The Wizard Of Oz came on once or twice a year.  She didn’t even like the ghosts in Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol.

“Ghosts are fun,” Dottie said firmly and Jimmy agreed.  “Let’s vote.”  Dottie and Jimmy immediately voted for the movie. 

Jimmy turned to Mikey and demanded: “Are you a sissy?”  Mikey shook his head ‘no’ and raised his hand.  Three to one, Cathy was outvoted.

It wasn’t long before Cathy was terrified of the movie goings-on.  She asked Dottie to put something else on the TV but her cousin refused.  Cathy could’ve changed the channel herself but whenever the children were together, Dottie was the boss.  She was the eldest and the bossiest.

Finally, Cathy could stand no more.  She went in to tell Daddy but he and Uncle Jimmy were too busy signing, so she had to tap Daddy’s shoulder several times.  When Daddy looked at her at last, he noticed the kitchen clock and said peremptorily, “So late, go to bed.”

“I’m afraid, I’m afraid,” Cathy objected.  Going to bed now was the last thing she wanted.  After all, she had a wolf in her closet and obviously Daddy was too busy to check it for her.  Daddy asked why and she pointed to the living room.  “The movie.  I’m scared.”

Daddy shook his head and said, “Don’t be silly.  Late now, go to bed.”  He called to Mikey to go to bed too.

Cathy tiptoed through the living room with Mikey.  He went into his room and she continued down the hall, terrified.  Her parents’ bedroom was directly across the hall from hers and she had an idea.   She opened the door to her parents’ bedroom and went in, turning on the light.  Mama was curled up, sleeping, and Cathy had to shake her several times to awaken her.

Mama finally roused and started to sit up.  “What?”

“I’m scared, I’m scared,” Cathy mouthed back slowly.

“Tell Daddy.  I’m sick.”  Mama began to reach for the lamp, but Cathy tapped her.  Now Mama sat up, looking pale and annoyed.

“The movie.  The TV.”

Mama grabbed her bathrobe and rushed out of the bedroom and into the living room.  Dottie and Jimmy looked up, startled.  Mama rushed through the living room and into the dining room, where Daddy and Uncle Jim were sitting.

Mama was yelling.  “Get out, get out, get out!”   She was yelling at a very startled Uncle Jim.  Daddy got up and signed to Mama.

Mama was still yelling as she signed back.  “Why do you let them watch a scary movie?”

Daddy and Uncle Jimmy only looked at her in confusion.  She was pointing to the door and continued to sign so furiously that her hands smacked loudly and cracked.

Cathy looked at Dottie, who was wide-eyed.  Dottie said, “Your mom says my parents are using her instead of taking fair turns.  And she says my dad is stupid for letting us watch a scary movie.”  Uncle Jimmy was signing something back, which Dottie interpreted as “But he didn’t know.”

Now Daddy was also trying to explain to Mama but she was shaking and jumping up and down, pointing to the door.  “Get out, get out, get out!” she screamed again.

Cathy ran from the living room, terrified.  She jumped into her bed and pulled the covers over her head.  She could hear Mama and Daddy arguing.  Their hands were so loud when they were angry.  She began to cry.  She wished she hadn’t woken Mama.  Now she would be in trouble!  Finally, she cried herself out and fell asleep.

 

Cathy was sure Mama would be very angry with her, but she wasn’t.  Something was wrong with Mama, though.  She continued to feel sick and stayed in bed.  Daddy would go in to take care of her, bringing her meals and tea or water.  He would sit on the edge of the bed and sign with her.  Mama cried and cried.

Cathy and Mikey only knew that Mama wasn’t feeling well.  Daddy took them to the park for a few hours and made all their meals during that weekend.  On Monday, Mama didn’t go back to Grandma’s.  There seemed to be a new arrangement: Daddy went to take care of Grandma during the day until he had to leave for work.  After his shift was over, Uncle Jimmy went to stay overnight.  Aunt Dodie continued the weekends.

Mama did get up that week to get Cathy and Mikey ready for school.  It was a relief not to have peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches every day, but Cathy was worried.  The following weekend, Daddy took Cathy and Mikey to the park again while Mama stayed home and rested.

Cathy knew a few basic signs because she’d seen them used so frequently.  She signed a simple question: “What’s wrong with Mama?”

Daddy answered with his voice.  “She had bad dream.”

Bad dream?  This was even more confusing and worrisome because Cathy didn’t have the vocabulary to ask why it was a bad dream and why Mama got sick about it.  She just nodded her head.

Just before the third weekend came, Mama seemed in a good mood so Cathy used her lips to ask about seeing Dottie and Jimmy.  She missed them.  But Mama looked suddenly annoyed.  Her lips pressed together, she shook her head no.  The little girl didn’t want to press Mama any further and asked Daddy.  And Daddy said, “Mama, Aunt Do have big fight.  Not talking.”

It wasn’t over then.  Now Cathy really wished she hadn’t wakened Mama.  She wondered what that bad dream had been about.  She wouldn’t find out until she was older.