The Deaf community is tight knit, welcome only to a select few of hearing people: their own children, interpreters and other advocates. Their culture is warm and filled with humor. Where did the culture originate? In schools for the Deaf, the students tend to be isolated from their parents and families for most of the year and form close, life long bonds. Friendships become primary relationships, continuing into adulthood. Social clubs and other organizations for the Deaf are as important, if not more than, family life.
Many hearing people are uncomfortable with ongoing eye contact and look away after a few seconds. Deaf people lock eyes with the ones they’re communicating with. Continued eye contact is an important way that Deaf people feel trust, as if they can see a person’s true character. When one looks away too frequently, Deaf people become wary. It’s as if hearing people are acting sneaky by not looking the Deaf person in the eye.
With each other, field of vision includes the face as well as the signing hands. Cues are given through facial expression. Expressions adds meaning and emotion to the message. We use these cues too when we’re speaking but we are not as outwardly expressive as Deaf people.
Humor is important and very much appreciated among the Deaf community. They especially love poking humor at themselves. One example of such a story is about the distraught hearing father of a Deaf college student who wrote: “Need money. I cut neck.” The alarmed dad went straight away to an administrator at Gallaudet. The son was located on campus and came to the administrator’s office. The father saw that his son seemed fine and demanded to know the meaning of the note. The administrator voiced the son’s response: “I need money. I’m broke.” The sign for broke is a cupped hand smacked against the neck. American Sign Language does not translate well into English and Deaf people find the story hilarious.
My dad was a natural story teller and loved a good joke. When I learned sign language I was able to make a Reader’s Digest joke visual for him and he loved it. A doctor told his patient she needed to take milk baths. She called the milkman (yes, the joke is that old) and asked him to deliver several gallons of milk. The milkman asked, “Will that be pasteurized?” and the woman’s answer was, “No, just up to my neck will be fine.” Signed, the story became a big hit at the club.
Another story I shared with my father was about the salesman walking into a Texas hotel bar for a beer. He was surprised at the size of his beer stein. The bartender said, “We do everything big here in Texas.”
The salesman ordered a burger to go along with another beer. He was delivered a platter with the biggest burger he’d ever seen. The bun was ginormous and it looked like an entire pound of cheese had melted on this burger. And the server said, “Oh, we do everything big here in Texas.”
After those two huge steins, the man had to relieve himself and asked the bartender for directions. The bartender gave a convoluted set of directions, ending with “and then turn right.” The salesman tried to remember all the directions as he went looking for the bathroom. His need grew frantic. Finally, he turned left and rushed through the door.
He fell into the hotel pool. Thrashing around, he screamed “Don’t flush it! Don’t flush it!”
The joke is sort of funny but when it’s told in ASL complete with accompanying facial expressions, it became a huge hit. Whenever my parents would go to the club or other gathering, the other Deaf folks would beg my Dad to tell that story.
We all use idioms and the Deaf have their own imaginative signs not meant to be taken seriously. We say, “What did you do over the weekend?” The Deaf walk their fingers over their heads, creating their own pun. What did you do over the week/weak end?
We say, “You missed the boat.” In sign language, a departing train speeds off into the distance. The translation is “train go sorry.”
The sign for donkey is an open hand, thumb touching temple, and flapping the fingers forward. It creates a visual of the donkey with floppy ears. A humorous idiom Deaf people use is to stick the thumb in the ear instead of the temple. The literal translation is “donkey ears” but the actual meaning is “I’m so deaf, my ears stubbornly refuse to hear you.” It can either be used in a joking manner or in a disagreement.
Deaf people are very sociable and inquisitive. Hearing people sometimes find them imposing with their “nosiness”. They become offended when a Deaf person asks a personal question like “How much do you make a week?” Hearing people can feel the Deaf are invasive; the Deaf can feel hearing people are evasive.
They are usually late. My parents were the exception. They were always on time for an event. We’d have to wait for everyone else to show up. I’m not sure why there is a “deaf time” but tardiness is acceptable in the community. On the other hand, at the end of the event the Deaf are always last to leave. They are eager for the contact and a lot of information is shared back and forth. It’s called the “Deaf grapevine”. They leave only when the custodian chases them out and then congregate in the parking lot for an extra hour. When we had Deaf guests who got up to leave and go home, I always knew it would be almost a whole hour before they finally got out the door!
Maybe continued...
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