Happy Heavenly Father's Day, Dad

 

My dad passed away in 2009 at the age of 80, just before he and Mom were to move in with us.  We’d just been to Maryland from New Jersey, to join my brother and Mom in a gentle intervention to get him to give up the car keys.  He had glaucoma and was nearly blind.  When I signed to him, I had to have my hands close up to his eyes.  He’d put his hands on my wrists to follow any movements I made to make sure he understood what I was signing. 

My mom and brother were scared to death because he continued to drive in such a condition. In fact, Mom wouldn’t even get in the car with him anymore.  He countered that they were in a rural area and he needed to drive to get necessities: groceries, gas, a lottery ticket.  To counter that, we suggested that he and Mom move into our house with their own private space.  We could drive Dad anywhere he wanted to go.  Ted knew that Dad loved to go on walks and mentioned how close we were to the parks.

Dad cried.  He put his arms around me and said: “My daughter, I’m so happy.”

But then he died.  Had he lived, he would have been 93 tomorrow.

This year, I am having many fond memories of Dad in spite of many times that we were on the outs.  It wasn’t Dad’s fault.  Mom had an undiagnosed mental health issue that plagued her throughout my childhood and adulthood.  She was verbally and physically abusive to my brother and me.  When we were very small, Dad would come home from work and whisk us away for an ice cream treat, a swim in the bay, or just a nice drive around town.

I was never afraid of Dad.  He and Mom would drink to excess and then get into these horrific fights that led to violence.  He never turned that kind of anger on me.  Mom did.  In the mid ‘70s, when I was about 22 or 23, she chased me with an ice pick.  She was drunk and in a rage.  I managed to get free and bolted from our apartment, taking refuge with friends.  Dad showed up the next day, apologizing for her behavior and begging me to come back.  He promised it wouldn’t happen again but I knew it would.  I didn’t go back and he left, crushed.

My Dad taught me to swim on those visits to the bay beach in our neighborhood.  When I was older, he taught me how to ride a big two-wheeler.  He proudly clapped his hands as I pedaled away down the street.  I felt as if I were flying.  He even tried to teach me how to drive, although that didn’t work out so well.

I have a vivid memory of a Father's Day/birthday celebration when I was about 12.  We went to a miniature golf course with plans to eat out at our favorite restaurant later.  However, when I moved out of the way for Mom to take her turn, I stumbled and fell onto a cracked pipe hidden by unmowed grass.  The pipe gashed my knee to the bone, although I didn't know that until later.

Off we went to the emergency room.  In shock and terrified, when I was brought back to be treated, I began crying and asking for Dad.  One of the nurses left to go to the waiting room and fetch Dad.  He sat on a stool by my head and held my hand while the doctor stitched up my knee.  He was calm and soothing, very protective, in spite of the paleness of his face.  I felt comforted and safe and stayed still until the doctor was done.  Dad said to me with his voice, "You are a brave girl.  I'm proud of you."

When I was growing up and into my teen years, he would tell me he was proud of me.  He complimented my housekeeping abilities and supported my musical abilities.  Have you seen the movie, Coda?  The hearing daughter loved music and her Deaf family came to watch her perform in a high school play.  It was the same when my parents came to watch me play the guitar and sing.  They looked around while other people were on stage, Mom signing “I’m bored” to Dad.  They could see lips moving but had no clue as to what was going on.  When it was my turn, they sat up straight and watched me closely even though they couldn’t hear a single note.

Dad was so thrilled when I became an interpreter for the Deaf.  He signed to me: “You understand Deaf World.  I’m so proud of you.”

I am remembering him today and smiling warmly.  Happy Father’s Day in Heaven, Dad.

 

Coup Attempt Hearing #2

 The first January 6th investigation committee's hearing was last Thursday, and I watched it.  It was like reliving the violent coup attempt all over again.  The videos were horrifying.  The committee interviewed two witnesses.  One was Capitol Police Officer Caroline Edwards and the other was Nick Quested, who was working on a documentary about the Proud Boys.  Officer Edwards' testimony was especially compelling and very moving.  We learned quite a bit from the committee last week, with more promised to come.

Today was the second hearing and Ted and I were front and center to watch.

I wonder if tRump and his cronies will be charged with anything?  There seems to be piles and piles of evidence that they committed crimes but the Department of Justice (DOJ) hasn’t taken any actions.  The Attorney General, Merrick Garland, has said repeatedly that DOJ is taking its time collecting everything and want to be sure any charges will stick.  Lately, though, I’ve been seeing tweets and posts saying that DOJ is reluctant to act because they know there will be violence if tRump’s followers rise up if their beloved leader is arrested or charged.

Geeze.  What a choice.  Do the right thing and possibly be confronted with another violent uprising or let it all go and everyone realizes they can get away with whatever the fuck they want; that the GQP doesn’t have to follow the Constitution or any laws.  Personally, I’d take the violent uprising and pray there are enough true patriots believing in democracy and following our Constitution to put down an uprising.

We just watched this morning’s hearings.  There was a long delay; they didn’t start until well after 10:30 but it was because trump’s former campaign manager, Bill Stepien, had a last minute “emergency” and was unable to appear before the committee.  He was in DC to testify before the committee but then got called home because his wife went into labor.  How convenient.  The committee put together his prerecorded testimony to use instead.  The one witness that showed, Chris Stirewalt, a former political editor for Fox News, only had to answer a couple of questions.

I wondered why he was there and wondered why he was a “former” editor.  It turns out that on election night, Fox News scooped the other media by announcing Arizona was going for Joe Biden.  The tRump camp was absolutely astounded and angry.  I imagine tRump saw this as a “betrayal” and their anger got Stirewalt fired.  Man! 

The wrath of tRump now extends to his precious daughter Ivanka who testified that then Attorney General Bill Barr saw no election fraud and she believed him.  tRump went ballistic.

There was video clip after video clip showing different former top tRump aides testifying that they told him again and again that there was no election fraud and that he lost the election.  This just made tRump angry and he ended up firing his “normal” legal team, which included Stepien.  There were lots of clips of him nervously tugging at his color, sweating and saying “you know” almost every other word as he testified.

All the witnesses were tRump’s people.  They all said tRump knew he’d lost the election.  They tried to give tRump sensible advice about how to handle things but he went forward and lied to his base and to the American people, insisting the election was stolen.  Is he so delusional he still believes that crap?  Or is this just his narcissistic attempt to keep the presidency?  He brought in a team of kooks led by former NY Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who drunkenly advised tRump to declare victory and stop the ballot counting.  Giuliani and his group of nuts pursued all kinds of crazy conspiracy theories to feed tRump.  Bill Barr finally gave up and quit on December 14.

During that time, tRump continued to spew lies and diatribes against voting machines.  He refused to have anything to do with transitioning power and for many weeks, people wondered if he was going to refuse to leave the White House in January.

You know what gets me about this?  All those top aides knew he was lying to the public.  How could they not?  The man was on TV and Twitter (until he was kicked off) loudly proclaiming he’d been robbed of the election.  Why didn’t anyone come forward?  If they were afraid of tRump’s vindictive vengefulness, why didn’t they all get together and denounce his lies?  There is strength in numbers.

Were they all that afraid?  Or did they think they were complicit?  I’m totally disgusted with them all because no one had the integrity to step up and say, “Don’t listen to tRump.  It’s a lie.  The election was stolen.”  They didn’t have to say tRump was a malignant narcissist.  They could just say it was a health issue causing him to be delusional.

If they had discredited him from the get-go, maybe we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in now.  There would have been accountability earlier and we wouldn’t have all these right-wing extremist groups plotting another election coup.  What makes this so alarming is how little attention this is getting from the press.  Only NBC updated about the hearing this morning.  The other major media is tripping out on inflation and gas prices.  Geeze.  With our democracy hanging in the balance!