Country First Gives Me More Hope

Yesterday I was feeling meh.  My mood’s been a little dampened because of all the onslaught of hateful news. Kanye West, a popular rapper now known as Ye, has been sounding off in all his racist glory against Jewish people. This isn’t really new for him but because he’s popular and black to boot, Rethuglican white supremacists are loving it. They held this disgusting huge banner over a major throughway in CA proclaiming that Ye was “right about the Jews.”

Then there’s continuing mind-blowing news from the battleground states. In Georgia, there is a good, Christian man serving right now and running for re-election. And he’s a minister too! You’d think the voters there would be overwhelming in favor of Rev. Raphael Warnock but … he’s in a tight race with the Rethuglican candidate.  Is it because Rev. Warnock is black?  No, his opponent is also black, a tRumper former football player who is now brain dead, Hershel Walker. Walker is a tRumper who has talked big about right-to-life and no-abortion-no-exceptions but … he’s had at least 2 women abort their babies and paid for the procedures.  He has out-of-wedlock children he doesn’t see.  It should be a no-brainer, right?  Well, nope.  The reason the tRumper sheeple are going for Walker is because tRump supports him.  Warnock is a Democrat.

In Pennsylvania, the Lt. Governor John Fetterman is running against snake oil salesman Dr. Oz.  Dr. Oz has been criticized for pushing and selling products that’s supposed to improve health for this or that reason.  It’s all bullshit and he’s been called out on it.  He is slick and knows how to perform for cameras.  Fetterman has some excellent ideas but recently suffered a stroke.  He’s recovering well but still is working through auditory processing issues and speech issues.  So, they had a debate and to hear mass media tell it, Fetterman was a disaster.  Other more independent journalists say he did a good job. Fetterman’s doctors say he’s doing great. The polls show them running neck and neck.

Stupid people are blaming Joe Biden for the so-called recession and high prices.  But it’s happening because of tRump policies.  Corporations are gouging customers openly and freely.  Why is this Biden’s fault?  The Rethuglicans voted against a measure that would stop the gouging.  Yet it’s all Biden’s fault.  I could scream.

President Biden has gotten so much done in the last year and it’s been mostly with partisan cooperation.  He gets zero credit from the media and therefore from Rethug voters—like that doctor who told me he’d vote for a dead possum in the road before he’d vote for a Democrat. Such anger. Why?

Many stupid people are determined to vote against their own self interests.  Rethug legislators have come right out and said they were going to tear social security and Medicare down, rip it to pieces.  One elderly woman I was interviewing just scoffed and said she didn’t believe it would happen.

Yeah? Didn’t we all believe Roe would never be overturned?

So, for all these reasons my mood has been a bit low.  I’m not saying I’m not without hope.  I continued to nurture a small flame all through this avalanche of evil and stupidity.  But I’m weary from all the hatred, divisiveness and the downright mulish stupidity of tRump supporters.

Out of the blue yesterday, I got an email from Rep. Kinzinger, one of the heroes on the January 6^th investigation committee.  He and Rep. Cheney both stood up to support democracy and the Constitution and they have both lost their seats and positions within the new GQP that has taken hold of what used to be the GOP. Rep. Kinzinger’s email invited me to attend a seminar for a group called Country First.

I am so glad I got that email.  I attended the webinar and was impressed with the speakers who were there.  They all had very compelling messages.  There used to be a time when Democrats, Republicans and Independents would work together to come up with needed legislation.  Their policies and beliefs were different but they were able to find common ground to work with.  They stood by the Constitution and our democracy.  I remember; I lived through years of cooperation between the parties even when they disagreed.

Country First wants to find common ground again so that the country can function. Right now, it’s an obstructionist mess with nothing getting done. This is going to involve a lot of seed planting. The obstruction and bipartisanship won’t change overnight but it can change by supporting politicians like Kinzinger, Cheney, Andy Kim, and other legislators who have the courage to do the right thing for our country.

I’ve shared information about Country First on social media platforms. I’m sharing the link here and hope that people will visit, read all the mission statements, join and volunteer in some way.  I know there’s a lot of us out there that feel the same way Country First feels.  We’ve got to plant those seeds.

 

Lost in the Twilight Zone

 

It’s funny: everyday I collect news stories on topics I want to write about. In the last week or so, I just keep setting them aside.

I feel like I’m wandering around in the Twilight Zone.

Or, a more up-to-date type experience: I’m in the Upside Down and can’t find my way out.

I’ve written about this before but it seems every day news items are more mind blowing.

The midterms are in less than two weeks.  Almost everywhere it seems that qualified candidates are in a virtual dead-heat with mind-dead, tRump parroting, ultra-right-wing conservatives. And why? I still don’t get it.

In Georgia, voters have a current senator now that is a thoughtful, rational, and even better yet, Christian minister in Raphael Warnock. Yet many are going for brain damaged or just flat-out stupid Hershel Walker.  Not only has he been lying and making ridiculously stupid remarks, Mr. Pro Life has at least 2 women publicly testifying he wanted them to abort his babies with them. In normal times, this would be a total deal breaker for Mr. Walker.  Apparently, the Upside Down is now known as the “New Normal” where it’s OK to be a fool, a liar and a hypocrite as long as you are a Rethuglican.

In Pennsylvania, there’ve been positive and negative takes on Lt. Gov. John Fetterman’s debate with snake oil salesman Dr. Oz.  Fetterman had a major stroke less than 6 months ago and is doing amazingly well in his recovery.  He still has some processing issues and needed some accommodation for the debate, to have the questions in text for him to read.  Dr. Oz has been in hot water for his many erroneous medical claims.  Not only that, he doesn’t even live in PA.  In spite of all that, major media is all gloom and doom about Fetterman.  It’s depressing.  The man is intelligent and has some great ideas; Dr. Oz panders to the tRumpers.  His most recent statement during the debate was that a woman’s reproductive care should be up to the woman, her doctor and, oh yeah, local legislators. 

In all the other battleground states, decent Democratic candidates or office holders are struggling to keep even with inept Rethuglicans endorsed by tRump—and some of these clowns are just evil.  Why? Because Rethuglican millionaire/billionaires are pouring in ad money to support the idiots on the Rethug ticket.

A sense of simple decency and kindness barely exists online at all.

I can’t look at major media anymore.  The headlines are infuriating and depressing as Democrats & President Biden are bashed without quarter and tRumpers are fawned over like they’re gods.  No wonder they walk around arrogantly broadcasting their anti-Semitic, racist, ugly views. There’s no blowback. Their own party members won’t say anything and, surprisingly, neither will the Democrats.

The Democratic leadership has been asleep at the wheel almost the entire time President Biden has been in office.  There have been so many blown opportunities for talking points to connect with voters.  It’s like that whole party has OD’d on Valium or something.

I set aside topics I want to write about because going down those roads would only serve to make me more discouraged.  There are only 2 weeks to the election and I want to keep a flame of hope kindled.  From now until the election is over, I’m going to set news aside and just focus on job hunting and writing for NaNoWriMo in November.  If we do have a blue wave or tsunami, I can write about things that need to be changed.  If we don’t, it won’t matter because we won’t have a democracy anymore.

I Am Not In Step With My Companions

I have been an advocate for almost all my life.  I don’t like it when anyone is put down for any reason.  I hate racism and bigotry.  I feel compelled to stick up for kids, people with disabilities, and people who are disparaged because they are “other” for whatever reason: religion, skin color, sexual preference.  The reality is that I’m really different.  I am other too.

I remember that when I was little and lived on Long Island, I didn’t feel different except that my parents couldn’t hear.  I used to have the magical thinking that everyone’s parents were like mine, speaking with their voices outside but signing inside.  When I was about 6 or 7, I was rudely clued into the fact we were different when neighborhood kids chanted outside my bedroom window “Cassie’s mother is deaf and dumb!” I was furious and hurt but also was surrounded by a large loving family. 

My Grandma was my first hero.  She loved me unconditionally and was a comfort to me.  I felt mostly protected, accepted and loved but began to carry that little bit of “I’m really different” with me.

Once we moved to Maryland, I lost connection with family and friends.  The biggest loss was a daily connection to my precious Grandma.  In Baltimore, the neighborhood kids grudgingly allowed my brother and me into their circle but never let us forget how different we were.  Our parents were constantly accused of being spies because their outdoor voices weren’t intelligible…not like other hearing parents’ voices.

My parents discovered a Deaf social club and that is when the drinking began.  My brother and I had experienced DV from our mother all along.  She had an undiagnosed mental health problem with mood swings and rages.  With the drinking and battling that went on with my parents, home became a place where my brother and I walked on egg shells.

Now I felt so apart from others, I began to withdraw.  I did not form any close friendships because I didn’t want to bring a pal home to an unstable situation.  I also found it hard to put trust in people.  That is still an issue with me to this day and probably the major reason I’m so different.  I have friends but keep them at a distance.  I don’t confide secrets the way I’ve seen in films about friendships.  I keep things light, safe, and even further at a distance: my friends are all online, living in other states.

When I was about 11 or 12, I discovered the gothic soap opera “Dark Shadows.” I was one of the kids who’d run home after school to make sure I was there in time to watch the show.  I became hooked on it because of Barnabas Collins, the self-tortured vampire.  The first reason I connected with Barnabas was because of the dreadful secret he was hiding from everyone.  Later on, he was cured and became my hero because of how much he cared for and helped other people.  I began to see him as an imaginary big brother. Barnabas became my second hero.

The third hero was my 11^th grade English teacher, who saw something in me and reached out. Privately, she confided that her father was a Korean War veteran who’d come back changed and had become an alcoholic.  Her home life was chaotic.  Then she asked about me and my home life.  I wanted to tell her.  I wanted to so badly but that “don’t tell” rule was too strong.  I went red in the face and felt the beginnings of a panic attack as I stuttered that I was fine and my family was fine.  I saw understanding in her eyes and then she said she would always be there whenever I wanted to talk.

I never opened up to her but she was my hero because she reached out to me, a kid in need.  She cared.  That meant so much to me.

Over the years, I’ve had a lot of therapy and attended a lot of twelve step meetings.  I learned so much about myself and my issues.  I learned that some of my coping mechanisms were dysfunctional and how to change them.  The meetings online and in person are a source of comfort to me because I feel as if I’m with people who “get” me and I “get” them. If I was to bond with anyone in deep friendship, it would be someone from one of those meetings. However, we all keep things anonymous and even with people who “get” me, I’m anxious about totally opening up.

I’ve let down my protective wall a lot but I still keep people at a distance, even the friends of over 30 years.  I have come to the conclusion that it’s so ingrained and emblazoned in me it’s just become a part of me.  I like who I am now but that is my one regret.

This is my favorite poem: 

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,

Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.

Let him step to the music which he hears,

However measured or far away.

Stephen Crane