"If a person can grow through unspeakable trauma and loss, perhaps a nation may, too.” This is a quote from Unthinkable by Rep. Jamie Raskin of Maryland. This is not a book about the former President nor is it about January 6, 2021 and its aftermath as it is about surviving trauma. I don’t need to touch on either the former guy or the events of January 6th. We all know what happened and what is going on.
I’d never heard of Rep. Raskin and the very first time I became aware of who he was, I also learned he had just suffered the devastating loss of his only son on December 31, 2020. It was an especially shocking loss because young Thomas Bloom Raskin, only 25, had killed himself. In addition to the enormous shock of losing a child, there’s the inevitable questions: why? Why didn’t I see the signs? Why didn’t I do this or that differently?
No parent ever expects to outlive their child, no matter the age. I remember the sorrow etched on the faces of my first husband’s grandparents when his mother was killed in a hit-and-run crash. I remember the same sorrow on my father-in-law’s face the first time I saw him after he learned my husband had passed away in the night. I grieved for Rep. Raskin and, again, for my in-laws. I grieved for me, going on after having a piece of my heart amputated.
The work that Rep. Raskin threw himself into in the days, weeks, months and year after the death of his son have helped him cope. At first, grief is overwhelming. At any memory or mention of a name, a smell, a familiar sight, the tears overwhelm the body and becomes a quivering mass of pain. The tasks ahead of Rep. Raskin provided a lifeline to survival. The issues at hand were within his experience and expertise: the Constitution of the United States.
By the end of the book, a year had passed. Now he can remember his son without the crushing devastation and tears. He can remember his son for the compassionate and aware young man he was.
It’s still possible for this country to heal too. Difficult, but still possible.
My mom gave up after my brother died. She wouldn't take chemo for her stage 1 cancer and just waited to die. It still affects me to this day.
ReplyDeleteThat is so sad. I understand how it would make you feel because you loved her & miss her still. It crosses my mind that she still had you & your sisters to live for tho...(((hugs)))
Delete